Got Fruit ?

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.

He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100% .

The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again!"

The elderly gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will three times!"

Grace and peace be with you.

I found these motivational posters from a blog called Team Pyro last night and laughed my butt off!

Before anyone goes off on a rant, I’m laughing at how the creators point out the "characterizations" (all real or not) of this movement.  False teachings and spiritual deceit however, is no laughing matter.

Grace and peace be with you.

Call me weird, but I did find this very funny.  Maybe because I can imagine it happening at one of the the McDonald’s in town, so I relate…

I went into a McDonald’s yesterday and said, ‘I’d like some fries.’ The girl at the counter said, ‘Would you like some fries with that?’
- Jay Leno

Grace and peace be with you.

Folks, once again we offer our apologies to visitors that experienced connectivity issues this afternoon.

Tech support has investigated the issue which was two-fold and provided the following information:

1. The database became corrupted and required repair.
2. In addition due to slight cultural differences,there were communication issues between the various layers of Tech Support here at Got Fruit(?)

The software guys that monitor the database pinpointed the problem, which they relayed to the hardware guys to actually implement action. Per instructions by the software geniuses: “In the event of database corruption, find the “REPAIR DATABASE” button on the control panel and “mash” it.”

The hardware guys being foreigners, most hailing from California, Oregon & Washington, are not up to speed on the nuances of “Okie-speak”. They didn’t understand that “mashing” has nothing to do with potatoes, but rather is an Okie term for “push”,”depress”,” engage” or “click”. This disconnect in dialect is the reason for the prolonged down-time. We hope to have this issue resolved within the coming weeks as we are expecting interpreters from the country of Texas.

Until then “Y’all come back and see us and…”

Grace and peace be with you

File under: “No sense blowing a gasket, when you can benefit from the situation by writing a post and making fun of the situation!”

There was a religious lady that had to do a lot of traveling for her business, so she did a lot of flying.  Flying made her very, very nervous, so she always took her Bible along with her to read as it helped relax her on the long flights.

Once, she was sitting next to a man on a flight.  When he saw her pull out her Bible, he gave a little chuckle, smirked then went back to what he was doing.

After awhile, he turned to her and asked, “You don’t really believe all that stuff in there do you?”

The lady replied, “Of course I do. It is the Bible.”

He said, “Well, what about that guy that was swallowed by that whale?”

She replied, “Oh, Jonah. Yes, I believe that, it is in the Bible.”

He asked, “Well, how do you suppose he survived all that time inside the whale?”

The lady said, “Well, I don’t really know. I guess when I get to heaven, I will ask him.”

“What if he isn’t in heaven?” the man asked sarcastically.

“Then you can ask him,” replied the lady.