Got Fruit ?

Early in January I left a post on some of the upcoming topics that I would be commenting/reflecting upon.

One thought that’s been on my mind recently, or perhaps I’ve just been itchin’ to post on has to do with my past reactions (distant past) to certain situations that were a result of my own actions. I look back now with a laugh at how ridiculous my thought process was back then, as I tried to barter(?) with God, and with thanks and gratitude to Him for watching over me in my foolish times.

The Four Words

Girlfriend: “Uh… we need to talk.”

Me: “OK, sure.”

Girlfriend: “I’m late.”

Me: “Late? What, you got a plane to catch? I thought you wanted to talk”

Girlfriend: “Uh, No!!! I’m LATE (with head tilted to one side and eyes motioning downward.”

Me: “Look, I’m not following, charades isn’t really my game, can you be more specific?”

Girlfriend: Just staring with the “Look buster don’t play games with me, you know what I’m talking about.” look on her face.

Me: “Oh!!”

Me: “Oh!!! You’re LATE late!!”

Me: “Are you sure?”

Later I’d find a place of solitude such as a bathroom stall, a closet, usually somewhere confined, to get religious & start praying to God. My feeble attempt at begging/nagging God into making this problem go away for me.

Or how about Idol Worship?

Me with arms wrapped around the porcelain god: “Oh God, please make the pain stop! I swear that I’ll never drink another drop of alcohol, if you’ll just make the dry heaves go away.” Sound familiar to anyone else?

Then there’s the Morning After Prayer:

“Arggggh!!!! Oh my aching head. God if you would just dim the sun a bit, and cause everyone in the world to be on mute for the next 12 hours, I promise that I’ll straighten up. I’ll only drink on the weekends and cut back on smoking. In fact I’ve been thinking about going to church one of these Sundays, did you know that?. Oh my aching head!”

Recalling these events during my “Head Up My Butt” days, I see now that whatever my problem was at the time, I was looking at the situation from the perspective of what could God do for me, having forgotten that it was I, that had turned my back on Him for the pleasures of the world. God never deserted me, but He was not to be played either, which is what I was doing with my warped mind set toward Him.

I wasn’t seeking God to experience His love, heck I didn’t even really love God. I didn’t “hate” Him, but my actions toward others was a reflection of my attitude toward Him and His Word, rejection. (1st John 4;7-12)

I wasn’t seeking Him to be corrected, in fact I’m not sure that I was truly praying to the Almighty, but rather, to my god in a box. The one that would “fix” my problems, not chastise me, and let me continue to sin in my ways until I needed him again, whereby I could blow the dust off of him, and pray once again for a Hail Mary to bail me out of the latest comedy of errors.