1 Peter 3:8 (KJV)
Finally , be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous.
There’s a saying that’s been used in reference to relationships that, “opposites attract”.
In some respect, I do think that there is some truth to this saying, though I personally believe that I’d be most comfortable with someone that is or has a similar nature (minus my bad habits).
Peter tells husbands and wives in 1 Peter 3:8 (KJV) “… be ye all of one mind…”.
About the first third of 1 Peter 3 is addressed specifically to husbands and wives; which are a partnership. I believe that the idea expressed throughout 1 Pete3 3 however, are instructions to model any and all partnerships/relationships after; not just marriage as literally explained in 1 Peter 3:8.
The words “one mind” come from the Greek word HOMOPHRON which means to be similarly minded or, translated as to be of the same mind. The idea is that of two people who; think the same, feel the same, & view things in life in the same way (Renner) The two people are therefore similar in their thinking , reasoning and conclusions, which by no coincidence I think; is an idea that mimics the relationship of the Godhead (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit).
To be “one minded” requires commitment, it requires effort and work. Some of the areas that two people (husband and wife) should strive to be of “one mind” are:
- desire to understand each other
- desire to view things in the same way
- desire to think the same way
The two desire to have the same vision, goal, and purpose in life.
Communication therefore is vital in a relationship. Poor communication can often lead to misunderstandings which can then open the door for division between the two. I have had my own recent experience in a relationship, where this is exactly what happened! Fortunately, I had enough sense to heed the Holy Spirit’s urging to resolve the conflict and strife that resulted in the relationship.
Just as the breakdown of communication doesn’t happen by accident or overnight; communication also doesn’t just happen by accident either. Again I stress that it is by effort and perseverance that communication takes place, thus a seed is planted that through nurturing ; “being of one mind” occurs.
Some of the things that we can do to get to the state of “being of one mind” are:
- having conversations with each other at length
- prayer and worshiping together
- Bible reading and study time together
- Devoting one on one time to each other; free of others and distractions
As you can see, it has to be a deliberate action on the part of husband and wife to get to the state of “being of one mind” that God desires for us to be at.
From 1 Peter 3:8 another deliberate action that husbands and wives are to pursue is “… having compassion one of another…”.
Renner points out that “…having compassion one of another..” follows directly after “… be ye all of one mind…“; he makes the point that at times our attempts to understand each other can often result in moments of frustration and or anger, and that it is at those times that we need to dip into “…having compassion…”. This is a moment where putting forth effort comes into play, instead of letting frustration and anger take over, from not being able to understand another views, perspective or feelings, let compassion be the way to lead you to understanding.
I recall how I used to look at most things from my point of view only; and if someone didn’t “get” where I was coming from, I become agitated at their inability to understand or side with my views.
I have a friend and co-worker that believes in a greater power; but doesn’t readily acknowledge God, Christ or the Holy Spirit, at least not that I can ever recall. Anyway, he’s skeptical of “religion”. We have on several occasions had discussions with which a religious topic surfaced, differing opinions, belief and views would follow. In the past, and in most cases, I would become antagonistic toward my friend for a comment that he would make. Through Bible study what I realized is that regardless of what my friend believed, or said about my chosen faith, I was not going about things in a Christian way (see Gal. 5:19-26) by reacting in a hostile manner toward him. Instead of letting my faith in Christ work in me, and instead of living by the Spirit; I let my sinful nature take over. I lacked understanding of my friend’s perspective, but most importantly, I lacked compassion.
I can recall from a few months ago a conversation between my friend and I. We were talking “religion” and he become concerned that I might sever our relationship. This had all come about after I had explained that I no longer listened to a particular genre of secular music, and had in fact thrown out all of the CDs. My friend kept insisting that I shouldn’t have thrown the CDs away since there might be a time where I would later regret doing so. His thought was that I might have a change of heart, and that the act was so final and “definite”, which I was trying to to relate to him… that my decision was final and definite. We ended up debating on how I could be so sure of my actions.
Later that day; and I truly believe that it was the Holy Spirit working on his heart; my friend called me and we talked (communicated). My friend apologized for giving me a hard time earlier and expressed his view on things. He told me what he was sensing and feeling, and how he thought that I might abandon him as a friend. I learned that he thought that I might “throw our friendship away” much like I had done with the CDs. To hear this was a shock! I had no intentions of ever doing such a thing. It had never even crossed my mind. In fact, I didn’t even have any hard feelings about anything said from the day’s earlier conversation.
I think in that moment we were at a point where, we were both at peace with accepting where the other was in their life. I think this peace came from having had a friendship that was pushing a decade, and from having a mutual respect for each other. This was the compassion we had for one another.
Compassion comes from the Greek word SUMPATHOS, a compound of SUN and PATHOS.
- SUN means something equally shared
- PATHOS means feelings, affection or passion
When SUN and PATHOS are compounded together they literally mean to share feeling an demotions. This refers to one who enters into someone else’s experience to share that experience, when they understand what the other person is going through.
The word SUMPATHOS is where we get the word “sympathy” which means:
- to be empathetic
- kind
- considerate
- caring
- full of mercy
In the situation with my friend, I was able to be compassionate because I could understand his concerns. I knew what it felt like to abandoned by a friend. I also understood my friend’s perspective toward “religion”, and his skepticism toward Christianity. It was through compassion that I was enabled to overlook my friend’s views about my faith, to not take or let his own views affect my walk in Christ. Perhaps through understanding, one day my friend will see what I see, and come to know and love Christ.
As stated earlier, 1 Peter 3: is written specifically to husbands and wives, but I think that these are really instructions to guide us in all of our relationships.
Grace and peace be with you.